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Change in it’s own time

When you have a moment of recognition that you need to make changes in your life – work, career, relationships etc it is usually followed by some kind of action to get you to a better place. However, this initial enthusiasm can be overtaken by impatience to see results.

Like a spoiled child you want everything NOW ! If this happens it can lead to disillusionment which blocks the energy you need to bring about the change that you want to see. At times like this it is important to remind yourself that change can take time and that there are potentially a lot of steps involved, particularly if you are seeking to alter your values, beliefs or behaviors. These steps could be summarized  as follows :

– recognizing that something is wrong, missing, causing you pain etc
– working out what the problem is, what issues need to be addressed
– building commitment to change
– deciding on what you want, what the change would look like
– taking action/implementing change
– possible lapses in your commitment to the change
– manifestation of change : seeing the results
– reviewing the change/making further changes

Change can take minutes or years, depending on the nature and magnitude of the change, and your commitment. Also, you will need to remind yourself that the only behavior you can change is your own – so in defining change you cannot build in any dependency on how others will react to changes you are making. You also need to accept that there may be lapses in your commitment, and setbacks, adjustments along the way but that this is ‘ok’ . It is all part of the process – stay committed despite the obstacles.

If you are making changes to a long established behavior pattern of yours you need to be realistic – it is likely that it will take time to replace one habit with another. This requires faith in yourself and in the change process. Sometimes you will be making more progress than you think but doubts arise because  the results of your efforts are not yet visible.

Using outside support, such as a coach can be a great help in working thru the steps above to the point where the change is firmly rooted.

Finally, nurturing a positive disposition and belief that things will work out for the best helps. How often looking back did you see that the timing of events was ‘perfect’ even though this did not seem to be the case ? !

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