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Dealing with the uncomfortable

By the ‘uncomfortable’ I mean all challenging experiences, thoughts and emotions. As life is a mixed bag we need to be able to have a way of processing the rough as well as the smooth.

There is so much focus on positive living these days it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that we should somehow block other than the positive in our lives. This is unrealistic and in any event we need challenging experiences in order to grow.

But why would we want to become comfortable with the uncomfortable or going further even welcome the ‘negative’ into our lives ? Is it not in our best interests to seek out better feeling thoughts and in so doing manifest  happiness in our lives ? This is true but never at the expense of denying ‘what is’.

If we try to run away from what is challenging for us we are sending out a message that it is stronger than us and in so doing we boost it’s power over us. It is the case that ‘what we resist persists’.  If we bury our emotions they become a hidden enemy who will pop up and ambush us (often when we least expect it)  in the form of fear, anger, guilt, depression etc.

So we need to ‘allow’ whatever emotions arise for whatever reason or apparently no reason. By allowing I mean listening empathetically to our emotions,  as we would to a friend with a problem. This eases the burden and disempowers the hold the emotions have over us. Part of this listening is to pick up whether there is a call to action in the emotion/experience – some step we need to take to move us to a better place.

Our ideal state therefore is not one which is free of the uncomfortable but rather where we can continue to function with a feeling of wellbeing even if everything in our lives is not ideal, whatever our definition of ideal happens to be. The pay off for becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable is a growing confidence  that we can deal with whatever life throws at us….a worthy prize!

Visiting the places that scare us is ultimately a liberating experience. So make friends with your demons and you may be surprised what you learn in the process.

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