This article is for those who are experiencing life changing events as a result of a personal crisis.
There is a feeling of aloneness and vulnerability associated with a significant life trauma. The supports that you rely on, the familiar, are either taken from you or simply ‘don’t work’. You can lose your sense of place in the world. You are assaulted by waves of negative emotions, but especially fear for the future as your foundations are shaken to the core.
So before starting over again you need to work thru all of this by :
– Fully recognizing what has happened, being patient and allowing yourself time and space to process the ‘event’ ; you are only human after all.
– Appreciating that there will be good days and bad days. You need to allow yourself experience whatever emotions come up. This may be painful but emotions need to be processed to take away their power and to keep you in control.
– Calling on the support of friends and professional support, if necessary. This is not a time to ‘go it alone’ or to be proud. External support also helps us maintain a sense of perspective and to begin to see a way thru what has happened.
The good news, after what will be a challenging period, is that you will be wiser and may well have discovered inner resources you didn’t know you had in order to come through the experience. This positions you well for starting over.
The chances are that you will have a different perspective on what is important to you and will want to make changes to your life based on insights you have gained.
Therefore, you will have a ‘blank canvas’ to be filled in. This you can choose to see as an exciting opportunity or a source of fear. While both will be present choose ‘excitement’ over fear as fear will only hold you back – some fear will inevitably arise and this is natural and to be expected.
You will need to be comfortable with uncertainty as you fill in the ‘blanks’, be patient and take each day as it comes as your new world order emerges. You will need to dig deep sometimes to find the courage to strike out in new directions – interests, friends, career etc and you will need to look after yourself as your number one priority while all of this is going on.
Know that nature does not allow a vacuum and whatever loss you suffered as a result of your traumatic experience will be replaced by something else. So take charge of this process and be the architect of your own destiny.