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Not knowing which road to take

Have you ever felt becalmed, in a sea of uncertainty, going nowhere, paralyzed into inaction ? It is not that you lack the will to move forward (as the burden of uncertainty weighs heavily) but you don’t know which road you want to take.The simple question ‘What do you want ? ‘ is one of the easiest to ask but can be one of the most difficult to answer. Don’t you just envy those who always seem to know what they want ! But they too will come to a crossroads someday and not know which fork in the road to take.

It can be tempting at such times to make a quick decision just to break the impasse. This is ok if you can turn around and walk back, when you take the wrong road, but not all decisions are like that. Some have more consequences than others and are not to be taken lightly. So we may have to sit with the ‘do nothing’ option, however uncomfortable, until we feel a shift within us to move in a particular direction.

We need to be honest with ourselves, however. Standing at the crossroads is not the best option if we are motivated by fear of doing something that we know deep down we need to do. This is just prolonging the agony and creating unnecessary suffering for ourselves. If this is not the case and we are genuinely undecided, we should not beat ourselves up for taking time out before deciding what to do, rather accept that this is where we are right now.

At times of indecision it can be useful to talk through your options with family, friends or a coach/counsellor. Could it be that you are asking the wrong questions? or that you need a new perspective on the situation ? or that some of your assumptions are incorrect and need to be checked out? or maybe there are some small steps you could take to change the dynamics of the situation ? Stay in touch with your feelings and intuition throughout the ‘do nothing’ phase of your decision making process, as these will be your best guide as to when to make a move.

It is just possible that while you are in ‘no action mode’ that the dynamics of a situation will change and you are spared having to make a difficult choice. But don’t count on it, you may have to dig deep for the courage to act, when you are clear in your  head and in your heart as to what you want.


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